Affordable-ish Housing in Pittsburgh: “Escape the city chaos” edition

I was driving down I-79 towards the airport recently, when I spotted an electronic billboard that said, “Escape the City Chaos” next to a picture of a new housing plan.   I thought, “Wow, I really would like to escape the chaos of urban life!”  For example, in my densely populated city neighborhood, I have seen:  A passel of fluffy bunnies squatting in my front bushes. They don’t pay rent and won’t leave.  Kids shooting basketballs through a Nerf hoop on their front porch across the street. What’s next, machine guns?  A family of deer wandering down the middle of the street like they own the place. Maybe they do?  An escaped parakeet joined a gang of sparrows, terrorizing the neighborhood (with warbles, chirps, and occasional squawks). Raucous crowds at Little League & PONY League baseball. Their roars waft up the hill from the ballfield almost every night in the summer. It sounds like cheering, but what if it’s rage ?  The weird new restaurant up the street is selling what? Donburi bowls? Bulgogi hoagies? Unfamiliar dishes are terrifying!  We hit Wiffle balls out back into neighbors’ yards and sometimes we never see them again. Where do they go?  So, basically, my daily journey through this urban hellscape is like a combination of Dawn of the Dead and Escape From New York, without the synthesizer soundtrack.  Pittsburgh is super scary. You’ve been warned. For sale: 333 Virginia Ave., Mt. Washington. $250,000.  This listing makes a heroic effort to spin an unfinished attic as an opportunity for a “creative studio or home office,” and that’s fine. However, “a nostalgic laundry chute adds another convenient touch.” Is that a metaphor? Like, every time I fall down the nostalgic laundry chute, I end up with a deep melancholic ache for people that are gone (and clean clothes). Luckily, I didn’t have one of these grow